


scream.

by dillywrites



Category: None - Fandom
Genre: Crying, Friendzone, Headaches & Migraines, Hurt, Jealousy, Just Friends, Pain, chest pain, envy - Freeform, exaggerated, feeling jealous when you’re not supposed to, hope you enjoy i think, jealousy so bad it hurts, no tws?, personal vent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-11 22:34:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29625012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dillywrites/pseuds/dillywrites
Summary: just,,, the feeling of being jealous. like so bad that it hurts and it makes you want to screamuhh personal vent but exaggerated into writing WOOP WOOP ..,,,i’m actually really proud of this
Comments: 4
Kudos: 1





	scream.

The kind of jealousy that makes your heart turn and your stomach twist. It makes you want to punch something, to shout at the top of your lungs. It squeezes your insides, makes you want to puke them all out. You want to be them. You want to be in their place. You want it so bad that it pulls at your lungs and makes it hard to breathe. You want it so bad that you want to scream, but you can’t breathe. You want it so bad but you feel so conflicted. There’s nothing you can do about it. You’re not them. They don’t know how you feel. They don’t understand. But you wish they did. You wish you were that person, with them. You want it so bad, so terribly. Your urges claw at your heart. You want that to be you. You look at the screen and you fill with raging envy. You want to scream. Your chest fills with pain. It’s hard to ignore. How do you manage? You want to scream. If only that were you. The jealousy surges through your veins. It takes over your body. You’d never do anything to hurt anyone, but you feel like you could in this moment. But you hold back, like the good friend you are. Like the good friend that you are. 

You don’t feel good, though. You feel like you want to scream and puke at the same time. Maybe even cry. You’re not even sure what you want to do. Throw something, punch something, anything to let some of this pent-up rage out. It could have been you. You make a few taps on your screen and see it again. Your mind clouds with thoughts. They muffle your logic. It should have been you. They make you want to scream. 

You want to cry. This you can do, without anyone noticing. The block in your nose starts to hurt. Tears start to silently poke at your eyes. The salty water is hot. Your chest still hurts. It could have been you. It should have been you. It stains your face, leaving evidence. You aggressively swipe at your face. It feels like people can see you, feels like people are watching you with eyes like daggers. But you’re alone. Alone with your screen that keeps shooting bullets into your chest. 

They might as well be stabbing you right now. It’s selfish to think of it that way, but that’s how it feels. Even as the jealousy rings out your lungs, as it shreds your heart, as it compresses your stomach, you shouldn’t be feeling this way. It’s too strong of a feeling to be ignored, but it shouldn’t be there anyways. You’re not even sure if you’re allowed to feel like this. So what’s it to you? Why are you feeling like this? 

It’s probably not even a big deal. Just friends! It’s not a big deal. The eyes in the room throw more daggers saying, you’re exaggerating. The fingers in the room point saying, it’s not a big deal. You clench your hands around your pillow, as if it will save you. A few hot tears make it onto the fabric. You wish you could dissolve into a pillow like the tears. But you’re stuck. Stuck with your heart torn, your screen radiating things you don’t want to see. It hurts like hell, you’ll admit it. 

You lay your head down, hoping for the headache to pass. Try to sleep the pain away. When you wake up, you’ll forget, just to — in a matter of moments — feel it all over again. But it’s fine. You’ll live with this. You wouldn’t dare say anything. You’ll keep quiet, like the good friend you are. 

But you want to scream, yell, shriek. Anything to make the pain go away. Anything to make it feel better. 

Anything to make them hear you.

**Author's Note:**

> thank u for reading :] yes i’m fine just a little shsjsjdjsjdjbx!/&:$38:$ you know anyways hope u enjoyed 
> 
> i love comments and i love kudos and i love interacting with ppl so if you would like, leave some comments or something!! 
> 
> love u <33 drink some water and take a deep breath


End file.
